Happy happy happy :D

I just dropped half my tin of tuna in the sink, because I'm brilliant like that. :/
But I'm having a lovahly tuna salad for lunch anyway. :)
Weighed myself this morning...
OVER A KG LOST!!
I am down to 96.4kgs!
Yay yay yay!!
To celebrate, I had the best banana smoothie for breakfast.
My legs are killing me today though. From my step up arobics thing I did day before yesterday.
Great work out, baaaad after effects.
That's pretty much all I have to say, I just wanted to update my weight loss.
And sorry for all the blog colour changes. I promise no more! :)

Banana Smoothie

1 small banana coarsely chopped
200g Vanilla yogurt
1/2cup of skim milk

Put banana and yogurt in blender and blend until almost smooth. Add milk and blend again, until smooth.

It's super simple, but I think that's why its so good. No stupid instructions like, a pinch of this, a handfull of that, stir only counter clockwise, and make on the night of the full moon.
I may be exaggerating the stupid instructions, but anyway.
Sorry I cant tell you how many calories! :p

Making new habits...

Ok, so, I was just in the kitchen, making lunch, (Salad with lettuce, tomato, cheese, shallots, tuna, carrot and balsamic dressing) when I realised that I was actually looking forward to eating it. It actually looked good to me.
This is a pretty huge development for me.
When my parents split up two years ago, all I ate was junk food. No exaggeration. I could eat an entire packet of potato chips in one go. (Frigging disgusting, I know.) Healthy food just didn't appeal to me at all. Not nearly as comforting as a giant block of chocolate.
And then there was the whole deal with counting calories and throwing up... I used to seriously stress out eating salad, because I didn't know the exact amount of calories that were in it.
But yeah.
I think that my habits are starting to change. I look forward to my exercise, food I used to love, (e.g MacDonald's!) now pretty much repulses me. You can literally see the fat on their food! Ick!
Weighed myself this morning... Lost! :D
Any who, thought I would just share that little epiphany with you. :)

The Internet is a Wonderful Thing.

I'm back! Finally!
For the last like, 2 months I have had no Internet. It was horrible. *shudder*
However, I have Internet once more, and am here to bore you all with the details of my weight loss.

Hmm, lets see... what has changed since I last posted...
Nothing.
I'm about the same weight, same measurements, my hair is a little longer, a little darker, and I have new earrings.
But that's about it. *sigh*

Starting to track my food again tomorrow.
I have a brand spanking new notebook, and I am full of motivation.

Stay strong! :)

Weigh-In Wednesday!

Weight Watchers meeting tonight, only weighed in tho, didn't stay for the meeting.
Had lots and lots of Chrissy shopping to do!
Which, fortunately, is aaalmost finished.
Just have a few more people to get stuff for, then I am done!
I love shopping, but its so crazy this time of year.

Anyway! My weight loss for this week is 0.8kgs.
That means I reached my 5% Goal!! I have lost 5% of my body weight! Yay for me!
Not as good as I hoped, but I really haven't done so well this week. Too much food, not enough exercise.
But i will do better this week! I have to!
Because 2011 is my last fat year.
EVER.

It has to be.

Stay Strong :)

Life is back to being good...ish.

Weighed in tonight, and I have lost 1.6kgs since my last weigh in.
All up I have lost 4kgs already!
Yay for progress!

All boy troubles are mostly cleared up... I ended up hooking up with him, it was fun.
But I'm not actually gonna go out with him, cuz that's just inviting trouble.
I'll just randomly hook up with him when I see him, like a slut.
:/

Strict-ing up my diet a bit this week. I've been really slack lately.
Haven't been tracking all the food I eat, secret eating, no exercise.
I have to get my ass into gear!!

Hope you're all doing great!! :)

Rah!

Went out to my Dad's place for a week - went from 97-point-something to 93-point something.
Sweet as. :)

That is the only weight loss related news, I'm afraid.

I once again, have guy troubles. :/

I think I have mentioned him on here before.. We went out once, like two years ago, didn't work, stopped talking.
He's totally feral. Haha.
Stoned, like, all the time.
Met up with him the other night at a party, and we ended up back at his place.
But, no, we didn't do anything. We just talked, and watched a movie.
But we have been texting heaps since, and I think I'm gonna see him again this weekend.
And I think something will happen...
Scratch that. I know something is gonna happen.
Rah. I'm just super nervous.
As much as I don't want to, I think I like him...
Waaah. Why must I have emotions?!

He said he likes me... That he always has.
Waaaah!
Lifeisgay.
:p

If anyone has any opinions, feel free to share them! :)

I'm Back!!!

Hello!!
It's been nearly a month since I last posted! Way to long!
Omigod, so much has changed!
Ok, where to start...
I gained some weight, and went up to 99.8kgs! :O
Then I joined Weight Watchers!
It is so great. That whole ProPoints plan thing. So easy! I go to a meeting every Wednesday, and I've joined online too. Omigod, the members are so nice! Like, it's great. Everyone is so encouraging, and no matter how little you lose, every one is excited for you! One of the women lost 0.4kgs this week, and everyone applauded her just as much as they clapped for the guy who lost 3.1kgs!

Anyway, I had my first weigh in last night, and my weight loss for the week was 2.4kgs!!!
I was talking to women who lost like 27kgs on Weight Watchers, and this one guy had already lost 21kgs!

So I'm actually pretty happy now, weight loss wise.

Hope all of you have been going just as well as me :)

To stay or to go?

Ok, so I'm in day 2 of eating like a normal person.

I just decided that I couldn't keep living how I was, its just not fun. Having to agonize over everything I ate or drank, constantly counting calories, I couldn't keep doing that, so I quit.
Went cold turkey.
Actually, its easier than I thought... I don't know if that's a good or bad thing :/

So since Sunday I have been stuck at 94.7, and no amount of restricting or exercising could change that. I ate Breakfast, Lunch, Afternoon tea, and Dinner yesterday, and as of today I'm now 94.4.
Life is good. :D

Going to the beach on Saturday. Sure not wearing a bikini, but still. I won't be as fat as I was last time I went to the beach.

I don't know if I'm going to continue this blog...
I want to, because I want to see how everyone I follow is going, like, I'm not going to go all anti-dieting or anything. I still hope all of you meet your goal weights and are happy.
But then I don't want to, just in case I get tempted to start again...

Rah. I don't know.
Stay strong.
xx

Ughhhhhh

Damn you Vodka.

Had a little too much fun last night at a friends 18th, and boy am I paying for it now.
Been puking my guts up all night, can hardly move without feeling sick. Ugghhh. Bad feeling.

I got up about an hour ago and made two pieces of toast, and weighed myself just for the fun of it. I was like 93.7! I assume thats just because I have literally no water weight at the moment though.

I dont actually feel good enough to keep typing, the computer is sitting on my stomach, and its not helping matters at all!

When I feel better I'll post again :)
Stay strong
xx

I hate this!

Rah! I am stuck!
Not plateau, just stuck.
I can never seem to get away from 95-94kgs. I always seem to be somewhere between there!
It's driving me crazy!!

Uh. On a better note, I got Wasted. :)
I bought it on iBooks on my iPod.
It's so good! Like, better than I expected!

Tried to purge again today, still nothing.
Rah. My gag reflex is like, broken. :(
Which is super lame.
Sigh.

On a relatively great note, I lost 0.4 of a kg since yesterday! Yay yay yay!
Half of my gained weight is gone! :D
Just gotta keep working on the other half, and then more.

Stay strong
xx

Damn doctor..

Ohmyfreakingod.

He didn't even weigh me!
I lost 14kgs for this appointment, and he doesn't even weigh me.
Sonofabitch.

On another note, I did some calculations yesterday.
I will be about 11 kgs down (83kgs) by New Years, if I keep loosing weight at this speed.
Not as fast as I would like, but still pretty frickin good. :)

Well, that's all I have to say. Super short post!
Stay strong
xx

My measurements!

Woo!
I took some measurements this time last week, and just took them again and compared them.

Weight- down 0.7kgs
Waist- down half an inch
Hips- down half an inch
Bust- down 1 and a half inches
Thigh- down 2 inches
Calf- no change
Upper arm- no change
Neck- down half an inch

Not much, but I'm really happy with it!
That two inches off my Thighs is like Christmas morning. :D
Bit disappointed with my calf and upper arm measurements though. :/
Oh well, you can't win 'em all!

The dreaded doctors appointment is tomorrow, so I'm keeping my calories verrrry low.
Its at like 10 o'clock or something, so I wont eat tomorrow morning.
If he doesnt even weigh me, Imma be so pissed.

I'm having one of those Cup-a-Soups for lunch. I'm not a soup person, but its so nice!
'Spring Vegetable' 56 cals.
:)
Brings today's grand total (so far) to 60 cals.
I had coffee this morning. :p

Wish me luck for tomorrow!
Stay strong
xx

Sore muscles!

Sorrrrre, so sorrrre!My calves hurt.
My thighs hurt.
My stomach hurts.
My arms hurt.
Woe is me.

Yesterday morning I went with my cousin and aunt to this exercise session in the park.
It was great!
She had us do stretches to warm up, and 'centre our bodies' and all that jazz, then made us do a circut she set up.
We were in pairs, (I was with my aunt since we were both first timers) and one person had to do sit ups while the partner held their feet to the ground. Then we jogged out to the cricket pitch in the middle of the field and jogged back.
Then the other partner did the sit ups, then more jogging, and some push ups.
We did that over, and over, and over.
Plus we jogged around the whole oval.
And ran across the field forwards, backwards and to either side.
Some stretches to warm down, and we were done.
The whole thing took about an hour.

I am so doing it again next week!
:D

Food wise, not so good.
I just keep eating!
Waahhhh!
I feel so gross. :p

However!
If I continue to loose 0.1 kg a day, I should be 94kgs exactly by my doctors appointment, which puts me at 14kgs under my highest weight.
Yay for me! Haha.

Stay strong
xx

Don't you love it when you lose when you expected to gain?

So happy right now.
I ate like a friggin' cow over the last 3 days, and didn't exercise, weighed myself today, and I lost weight.
Only 0.1 of a kg, but still. I was seriously expecting like, a half a kg gain!
But yes, that has made my morning. :)

Its a bit past midday now, and all I've had is a black coffee for breakfast, and I'm having another one now for lunch.
I love black coffee. Haha.

Been working on my Ana diary all morning. Looking pretty cute, if I do say so my self. :)
Its got all my favorite thinspo pictures and quotes in it, as well as my measurements, weights, notes to my self, how I'm feeling, goals, and all that sort of stuff.
Yep. Its got everything.

If Mum ever finds it I'm royally boned!

I used to have all the pictures and quotes on loose sheets of paper, and had them hidden behind a picture on my wall in my room. I guess I'll just see if it can hold the weight of the book.

My weight loss is slowing down a bit. I'm terrified that I'm about to plateau.
Please God no, because I have no idea how to get off one. :O

I'm really worried about one of the other girls on here that I was following. Her blog is Bonjour Bones.
Please can anyone tell me if she's alright? Her last post was very worrying, I'm a bit scared she's hurt herself. If anyone can find out, please tell me?
Stay strong
xx

Hunger hurts but starving works.

Hello m'dears. This post may be a long one I'm afraid.

Facts:
1. I have gained weight.
2. I am not going to be in the 80s in time for my doctors appointment.
3. I am not going to lose weight by reading blogs and looking at thinspo.

I cannot change these things. But these things are "not a problem, just a factor."
(If anyone guesses what book that quote comes from, you are my new best friend, and I will kiss your feet.)

As of today, I have set a new calorie limit: Net of 800 per day.
Under that is great. Over that is not acceptable.
I will exercise (in some way, shape or form) everyday.
I WILL NOT BINGE.
I will not purge, because it makes my teeth icky. :p
I will not drink alcohol because I don't need the calories. (Also because I apparently cant keep my mouth shut when I'm drunk. No more accidental revealing of eating issues.)
I will try not to hurt myself again, but no promises there. (My leg looks fine BTW, bit of a scar though.)
If I plateau, I will cry.


Actual-real-serious-non-changing deadline and goal weight:

75kg by 31st December 2011*

*Weight and date subject to change.

I know I'll change my mind a hundred times between now and then, but for now, this is the plan.
Until next year.
Then onwards to more weight loss!

I honestly have no idea what I would do if I wasn't trying to lose weight. Like, my life would have no purpose. How sad. :p

Ok, that's all for now I think.
Well, there is something else bugging me, but I'm not ready to put it into words. It'll make it seem to real.

Stay strong.
xx


(BTW, I'm not actually kissing anyones feet. Ew.)

Ah crap.

Noooo!!
My appointment time got changed!! It's TOMORROW.
Shitshitshit!!
I thought I had a month!
Wahhhhh!!


I'm not in the 80s yet, (obviously) so Dr Bitchface is gonna call me fat again. FML.
Weighed myself a little late today, but I'm down 0.2 of a kilo since yesterday. Yay for that.

On another note, my new favourite thinspo quote:

I'm going to eat very light tonight, and not gonna eat at all tomorrow, at least not until my appointment is over.

So frickin' nervous!
x


-----------------EDIT--10:18PM--------------------------


Its ok! Mum made a mistake, and my appointment really is next month.
Now that I'm over my little heart attack, I can sleep tonight. :)
x

[Insert appropriate title here]

Woohoo, going out to Dad's for a few days! :)
Although, that means no Internet. :(

I think my 500-cal-a-day idea is a little drastic. The two TF shakes I have to have a day are 213 cals each. So I have 426 cals before dinner. Hmmm. Not gonna work. Drat.
I think I'm gonna up it to about 800 cals. If I stay under that for a few days, I'll bring it down to 600.
I'll just see how I go.

Went running and on the exercise bike this morning. Burnt off around 219 calories. Yay for me!
No bike out at Dad's though, so I'm gonna have to rely on the running. Ugh. Not my favourite exercise.
I would love to join the gym again. Lovelovelovelovelove. But it just isn't gonna happen. FML.

I hate myself for drinking the other night. All my hard work over the last week? Gone!!
I guess 800 extra calories in a day will do that.
Damn my ability to not throw up when I'm drunk. *Sigh*

I'm getting a bit worried that I'm not gonna make it to the 80s in time for my appointment with Dr Bitchface.
Damned if I'm gonna let him call me fat again, though.
Grrrrrr.

Rah. I should go pack. But I hate packing. :p
Screw packing. I'm just gonna look at thinspo. :D
xx

Deadline has been set!

Rah! I am determined to be in the 80s by the 12th of September!
I have a doctors appointment that day.

The doctor I see for my epilepsy practically called me fat last time I went to see him. So, I am determined to prove him wrong.
I believe that the medication he prescribed me made me gain weight. :p

He weighed me when I first saw him, the morning after I went to the emergency room, but I cant remember what I was. I was a bit overweight though.
Then the next time he weighed me was after I had been on the medication for a few months, and I had gained 12kg!!

He made me get on the scale 3 times! He thought it was impossible I could have gained that much.
I was so damn embarrassed. I had a red face for the rest of the appointment.

When I got home I asked mum if I could start a diet, and she agreed. That's when I started Tony Ferguson.
I lost 10kgs on that, then stopped.
I lost a few kilos on my own, and lost 2.7 last week when I started TF again.

So I am back to what I was before I started taking the epilepsy medication.
But I want to loose so much more, and rub that in his face! :/

Gah. I really regret drinking so much the other night. That slowed my weight loss down a bit. But, I am not going over a net of 500 calories a day until I am down in the 80s.

I CAN DO THIS.

Ahh, life is good.

A few good things have all happened at once.
Good thing number:
1- Mum changed her mind, and I'm going back on Tony Ferguson tomorrow!
2- I'm going to see a play with my Dad, and I bought a little black dress to wear (gasp) , and I look great in it!
3- I'm losing weight! Down in the 94-point-somethings!!

Happy happy happy. :)

Went for a 40 minute walk at about midday. Good pace, I can walk faster for longer now.
Been in this good mood for 3 days. :D If things would keep going like this, things would be perfect.

That's my favourite picture/quote at the moment. I just love it. It describes everything so well. :)

Cuts on my legs are healing up well. I cringe every time I think of them though. Gah. I'm so silly! :p
Anywho, I have to go clean house and study.
:)

Lowest weight yet! :D

Eat less, weigh less. That's all I need to know. :)
I didn't have dinner last night, (told Mum I had been eating all day) and all I've had today is one tub of no fat yogurt (70cals). Plus I went for a walk last night.
And I'm down 0.3 of a kg already :)
Aaaah, life is good.

And I am really honestly truly going to ask Mum about the gym when she gets home.
I have been working on my Human Resources Cert 4 all morning, so she should be happy with me :)
I'm off to Dad's again for the weekend today. His side of the family are throwing me an 18th tomorrow.
Sigh.
So much food.
Ah well.

In other news!
Right now, I am at my all time lowest weight, since I stopped growing. :D
I mean, I was about 70kgs in yr 10, but I was about a foot shorter too. :p
But yes, from now on in, its uncharted territory! If I keep losing weight, I will always be the lightest I have ever been. :D
Pretty exciting thought.

Any who, I had better be off back to studying. It takes awhile for a dumbshit like me to process all the big words! Haha :)