Will power is being tested...

Mum did some baking last night, so we have a house full of choc chip biscuits and ANZAC biscuits.
Its taking every ounce of my will power not to just have one... or two... or eight.
I will not binge.
I will not binge.
I will not binge.

Fairly good day calorie wise.
All up I've had 1015 (disgustingly high, I know), but I exercised my way down to a net intake of 538.
477 cals burnt between the Wii Fit and the 'elderly' exercise bike.

Breakfast - 53cals
Lunch- 496cals
Dinner- 130cals
Snacks- 333cals

Actually pretty terrible looking at it like that.
Exercise should not be my excuse to eat as much as I like.
No, I'm definitely going to keep my calorie intake lower than that, and net intake below 800.

And why the heck am I eating lunch?!
Lunch for crying out loud!!
Fattyfatfat.
No more lunch for me.
That should lower my calories per day by a bit.

I eat breakfast to start up my metabolism, so I cant really cut that out.
Its only 53 calories a day, anyway.
And I cant get out of dinner. My mum would shoot me if I started skipping dinner.
(Yes, that makes fasting ridiculously hard.)
 
Ugh!
Stay strong
xx

[Insert appropriate title here]

Woohoo, going out to Dad's for a few days! :)
Although, that means no Internet. :(

I think my 500-cal-a-day idea is a little drastic. The two TF shakes I have to have a day are 213 cals each. So I have 426 cals before dinner. Hmmm. Not gonna work. Drat.
I think I'm gonna up it to about 800 cals. If I stay under that for a few days, I'll bring it down to 600.
I'll just see how I go.

Went running and on the exercise bike this morning. Burnt off around 219 calories. Yay for me!
No bike out at Dad's though, so I'm gonna have to rely on the running. Ugh. Not my favourite exercise.
I would love to join the gym again. Lovelovelovelovelove. But it just isn't gonna happen. FML.

I hate myself for drinking the other night. All my hard work over the last week? Gone!!
I guess 800 extra calories in a day will do that.
Damn my ability to not throw up when I'm drunk. *Sigh*

I'm getting a bit worried that I'm not gonna make it to the 80s in time for my appointment with Dr Bitchface.
Damned if I'm gonna let him call me fat again, though.
Grrrrrr.

Rah. I should go pack. But I hate packing. :p
Screw packing. I'm just gonna look at thinspo. :D
xx

I have the Exercise Bike... and its a senior citizen.

I got the bike, I got the bike, I got the bike!!!
Eeeee!!
It looks older than me, but I have it!!!

It was obviously born before the digital era. Haha.
Its handle bars are kinda rusty, and there is a dial thingy that shows how fast I go and how far I've gone, but the seat is new. :)
I love it!

I went for a weigh in at Tony Ferguson this morning... And I have lost... *drumroll please*...

2.7kg

this week!!

Yay for me!
I bought my first pack of cigarettes yesterday. :O
I have smoked before, I just bought my own. I felt very 18 and grown up haha.

Ugh, I think I had about 800 calories in the form of Vodka and Blood Orange mix last night.
But I got verrry happy, haha.
I never get 'drunk,' I get happy!

But Ohmigod, I think I said something to my friends about my... eating issues.
Friend 1 was trying to make me eat bread, to soak up some of the alcohol. She took my drink away until I ate half the bread, so I tried to humor her. I hadn't eaten anything that day anyway.
Problem is, I vaguely remember saying to Friend 2, 'Ew, I don't even remember the last time I ate bread. I haven't even had that much to drink, I just haven't eaten since yesterday morning!'

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

Friend 3 kept asking questions then, little subtle ones about eating, that I didn't realise I was digging myself a hole before I was way, way down. :/
She was like, 'don't worry about calories, just love yourself!' And I was like, 'but there's to frickin' much to love!'
She just looked at me then, and said 'Amy, I am very worried about your eating habits and relationship with food.'
She looked so sad and worried! I felt frickin' terrible.

But eh. I will be skinny.

My Bike! <3

Don't worry Ana, I'm still here.

I know I haven't posted in a while, I just haven't had a lot to say...
Been on Tony Ferguson for about a week now, lost about 3kg. :D
Yayayayay!
Crazy proud of myself today, I burnt 508 calories on the Wii Fit. Woohoo for me!
My net intake for today so far is only 10 cals!
We're having dinner with my aunt and uncle tonight, so that means take out food. :/
Good news is, we're having fish and chips. So I'm just going to have a small piece of grilled fish and some salad. No chips!!

Looking into buying an exercise bike, seeing as it looks like Mum's friend has forgotten her offer of giving me her old one.
They have one at Big W for only $98, so that doesnt sound to bad.
Mum was pushing me to get this little doodad that you attach to the back wheel of a normal bike, and it holds it still. She said that would be just as good as an exercise bike.
Call me crazy, but I would rather get an actual machine that tells me my speed, how many calories burnt, and I can adjust the difficulty of, rather than a little stand thingy thats costs the same amount.

But whatever.

I have another 18th on tomorrow. 1980s theme. Should be pretty good! Though I was just checking out how many cals are in the drinks I bought... 150cals per 200ml!!
Eh!

And that is all I have to say at this point in time...
Off to read other blogs and look at thinspo. :)

Home again home again.

I went out to my Dads for a week, ate everything in sight. Gain half a kg. I'm so gross. :p

Looks like mums friend has forgotten about the exercise bike...
Aaand I dont want to be rude and ask her for it...
But I really need it.

I saw one for only $250 in a sports shop yesterday... If I had that much, I would have bought it, without a second thought.

I should probably join a gym again... I cancelled my last membership because I never went...
In my defense though, it was ment to be a joint effort with my cousin, and she never went, so I never went... She was my ride there.






I hate being fat.