Omigod, Omigod, Omigod. I was just looking in the mirror, and... I can see my collar bones! They aren't protruding or anything, but they're there, I can see them hiding under the fat. I haven't seen them for so long!
All my signs of weight loss have all sort of hit me at the same time. My ring is now to big, it keeps falling off! :D
Shirts I bought a few months ago that were skin tight (and I never dared to wear) are hanging lose on me, and my jeans from when I used to be skinny are getting to big! :O
Ahh, life is good.
I have to go to the dentist next week to get a filling, which is bad, but, I can get away with not eating for a bit after that, because "my teeth hurt" :) Heh heh heh...
My brother comes home today, so there goes any time to exercise. And he is weirdly observant about when I eat... Gah. Oh well. I can work around it.
But! Big problem: My friend is having her 18th tomorrow night and its a buffet style dinner, and her mum is cooking for it. This is a very bad thing... Her mum could totally win Master Chef. Like, seriously. Her cooking is incredible. Damn it.
I'm just gonna not eat all day, then eat as little as possible tomorrow night.
I hope. :/

I love my Wii Fit.

I just did an hour on the wii fit, and burnt 303 calories. (And no, I cant just say 300, those 3 calories count. lol) Yay for me!! :D
On the downside, I have to have pizza tonight, because we're celebrating my cousins birthday. Blah.
I love pizza, and I hate that.
I don't know what is wrong with me, but ever since I decided that I wouldn't eat over 1000 calories a day, I haven't been able to stick to it! I'm friggin' pathetic.
I heard today that one of the major turn offs for guys on a date, is girls who count their calories.
Well, fuck guys.
I'm pretty sure going on a date with a fat, lard-ass girl would be more of a turn off than a skinny girl who counted calories.
:D

QUOD ME NUTRIT, ME DESTRUIT

Well that was a freaking ordeal and a half. I just spent an entire HOUR trying to add a weight loss ticker to my blog. I am pathetic. :p

In other news, this under-1000-calories-a-day thing has not worked yet. Actually, I gained half a kg! Though, I will admit, I have not done any real exercise, so, that may be a factor. But still.

Super nervous/excited/stressed about my 18th, which is in like, 14 days! But whos counting. ;)
I really have to get organised. I'm planning on having lunch with family, then having friends from school over that night. So, I have to get my ass into gear if I want that to happen!

Did a little more work on my Ana scrapbook yesterday. I love it. I have great thinspo pictures and quotes  covering the pages, and a few stickers to pretty it up. It makes a good distraction when I feel weak.

I've been working up the courage to comment on other peoples blogs, and have commented on a few now. So proud of myself! Who knew you could be shy even over the internet?!

I've started reading the Pretty Little Liars series again. Hanna Marin=Thinspo! Its great :)
Knowing her backstory is so much better than just looking at some skinny girl or reading quotes.

And I think thats all for now :)

Planning ahead...

Had a terrible day. Had a small binge, then couldnt purge. No matter how hard I tried.
Gained a little weight, I discovered. Fml.

However. I have been on losertown, and it says that if I eat 1000 cals or less a day, and exercise 1-3 times a week, I can be in the high 60kgs by the 1st of December. Super duper excited! Thats the outside figure. I dont think I'll eat a 1000 cal every day... And probably exercise more than 3 times a week... sometimes.

Woo!

ED Survey

I thought it might be fun, and what the hell, nobody reads this anyway!! :)


Size: shirts -M-L/14-16, pants - 14-16
Age: 17 (nearly 18!)
Highest Weight: 108kgs
Lowest Weight: 70-something kgs
Goal Weight: 60-70kgs

Favorite Diet Food?
Green tea, dry crusket (30cal)

Favorite Binge Food?
Ice cream, Mac&Cheese

Favorite Exercise?
exercise bike, yoga, cardio

Thinspo?
Shoulder, collar and hip bones showing <3

What Makes You Slip Up?
Boredom, stress

What Makes You Strong?
Knowing I can hide it from everyone.

When Did It Start?
Highschool some time...

Does Anyone Know?
Some people know a little bit... But no one knows the full extent.

Do You Want Help?
Hell no. Not until I'm skinny at least.

How Many Calories Do You Consume A Day?
Changes everyday, from 0-1000. Tops.

What Do You See When You Look In The Mirror?
FAT FAT FAT FAT FAT!!!!

Are You In A Relationship?
Haha yeah no. No one would look at me when I'm this size....

Is It For Attention?
No!! It's because it should be against the law to be as big as me :p

Are You The Fat Or Thin One Out Of Your Friends?
Fat one. :(

Are You Depressed?
 No :p

Ever Tried To Commit Suicide?
Noooo

Ever Been To A Psychologist?
Never.

Are You On Any Medication?
Yes, for my epilepsy.

I AM -
[x] anorexic
[x] ednos
[x] bulimic
[ ] living off diet pills
[ ] hungry
[x] thirsty
[ ] drinking something
[ ] eating something
[ ] under 100lbs
[x] starving myself
[ ] participating in a fast
[ ] vegan

PEOPLE -
[ ] ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic
[ ] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[ ] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[ ] spread rumors about me
[ ] force me to eat
[ ] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[x] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
[x] have tried to stop me

I WISH -
[x] I was thin
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[x] I was under 110lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was prettier
[ ] I could stop being ana/mia
[x] I had a boy/girlfriend
[ ] I could disappear

I LOVE -
[x] feeling hungry
[x] seeing a difference
[x] shaking
[x] being weak (but strong at the same time)
[x] losing weight
[x] being anorexic/bulimic
[x] green tea
[ ] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself

I HATE -
[x] when people stare
[x] being asked questions
[x] having to eat [in front of other people]
[x] being single
[x] wearing short skirts
[x] being fat
[x] looking ugly
[x] feeling this way
[x] fat people

I NEED -
[x] more support
[x] people to stay out of my business
[ ] more friends
[ ] someone to know
[x] less food
[x] more water
[x] a gym membership
[x] to lose 50 lbs
[x] to lose 30 lbs
[x] to lose 10lbs

Not quite as fun as I thought... But still. :)

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

I really need to get a decent set of scales :p
Last time I weighed myself on scale #1, and I'm 94.5kgs. I weighed myself on scale #2, and I'm frigging 97kgs!! WTF??
I'm gonna go with scale #1. Makes me happier :)

Haven't got my exercise bike yet... I really need it though... I can only lose so much weight by restricting... I have to do some exercise...

I spent my afternoon listening to music and googling thinspo... I <3 the before and after pictures... They are a great motivation for me. I figure if those girls can do it, so can I!!

Time to try something new...

Ok. I have come to the conclusion that the ABC isn't the one for me. Having to eat with my family is making me consume way to many calories. So. I'm thinking either Skinny Girl Diet or just try to have as little calories as I can everyday, and fast for one or two days every week/two weeks.

I'll give the SGD a go, but if thats still not doing it, I'm just going to eat as little as possible and exercise my ass off. On that note, I'm getting an exercise bike! Woo! Very excited about that. I'm gonna do hours and hours on it. <3

Any who, thats all for now. Maybe more later.