Hi, Hey, Hello.

On the off chance someone is reading this, hi. I'm Amy, I'm 182cm tall, 96kgs (disgustingly fat, I know) and am in a relationship with Ana, who is also my best friend. For those of you who know who I mean by Ana, I welcome you as a friend. If you don't know who I mean, then you really won't understand, and this won't interest you.

A quick warning: This is not pro recovery. I have no intention of giving up Ana, and this blog could be considered triggering for those who are trying to recover.

I have just finished high school, and I'm going to study childcare soon. As much as I love my mum and brother, who I live with, I cannot wait to move out. Then I can eat as little and purge as much as I like.

I lost 10kgs not long ago, but its not enough. I want to lose at least 20 more. All my life I have hated my body. I've always been bigger than my friends, which is kinda lame. You know how every group has the fat friend? Yeah, well, that was me.

The only time I have come close to liking my size was when Ana and I met for the first time in Grade 10, when I was 15. I was at a bording school, and was fighting with my friends pretty badly.
"Don't have dinner tonight. You'll feel better. Trust me." That was the first time Ana spoke to me... And we have been friends on and off ever since.

At one stage my friends caught on, and it was terrible. There were people with me at all times, all reporting to eachother about when I ate and when they thought I purged.
My moment of glory was when I passed out at school from lack of eating. To me, that ment that I had shown how strong I was. How good my self control was.

I totally ballooned up at the end of Year 11 when my parents split up. I just ate everything. It was so freaking disgusting.

But anywho. Thats enough about the past. Today was Day 2 of the ABC diet. I've had 270 calories today (would have been less, but mum forced a sandwich on me at lunch) so dinner has to be 230 calories or less.

Thats enough crap for today. Lets see how I go with only 300 calories tomorrow.